Desire for physical closeness is good. It is part of how God made husband and wife, and the Church teaches that the marital act is meant both to unite the spouses and to be a source of joy and pleasure for them (CCC 2362, 2363). Yet asking for intimacy can be one of the most vulnerable things a spouse does. It can also, if done carelessly, feel like a demand. This lesson looks at how to express desire in a way that honors your spouse's freedom.
Desire and freedom belong together
Love that is truly a gift must be freely given. Saint John Paul II taught that a person must never be treated as an object for use, and that love means affirming the other as a person. The Catechism describes chastity as the integration of sexuality within the person, an apprenticeship in self-mastery which is a training in human freedom (CCC 2337, 2339). An invitation honors freedom. Pressure, even subtle pressure, takes it away.
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Sources
- CCC 2337-2339 Catechism of the Catholic Church, The integrity of the person and self-mastery
- CCC 2362-2363 Catechism of the Catholic Church, The love of husband and wife
- CCC 2370 Catechism of the Catholic Church, Periodic continence
- 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 Mutual self-gift of spouses
- TOB 1979-1984, Man and Woman He Created Them Theology of the Body, General Audiences of John Paul II