A covenant that God himself wrote into creation
Church teachingThe Catechism opens its teaching on matrimony by calling marriage a covenant, a partnership of the whole of life between a man and a woman. It is ordered to two goods that belong together: the good of the spouses themselves, and the procreation and education of children. Between two baptized people, Christ raised this natural covenant to the dignity of a sacrament.
The Church insists that marriage is not a human invention or a social contract that changes with fashion. God is its author, and he wrote it into the nature of man and woman from the beginning. That is why the Second Vatican Council, in Gaudium et Spes, describes married life as an intimate partnership of life and love established by the Creator and governed by his laws. Couples do not invent the meaning of their marriage; they receive it, and then spend a lifetime discovering how rich it is.
"The matrimonial covenant, by which a man and a woman establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life, is by its nature ordered toward the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring; this covenant between baptized persons has been raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of a sacrament."
Free consent makes the marriage
Church teachingWhat makes a marriage is the exchange of consent. The Catechism calls it the indispensable element: if consent is missing, there is no marriage at all. Consent is a human act in which each person gives himself or herself to the other, and it is fulfilled when the two become one flesh.
For consent to be real it must be free. Neither spouse can be under pressure, fear or deception, and both must understand what they are promising. This is why the Church cares so much about preparation. Engaged couples who take time to talk honestly about faith, children, money and intimacy give their yes a solid foundation. Our guide to Catholic marriage preparation explains what that preparation usually covers and how to make the most of it.
Indissoluble, one and faithful
Church teachingJesus pointed back to the beginning when he was asked about divorce: what God has joined, no human being may separate. The Catechism teaches that a marriage validly concluded and consummated between baptized persons can never be dissolved, and that the Church has no power to change this.
Three properties follow from the nature of married love itself:
- Unity. Husband and wife are no longer two but one flesh, a communion of persons that embraces their whole life and is called to keep growing.
- Indissolubility. Love that gives the whole person cannot be a gift until further notice. It seeks to be definitive.
- Fidelity. Fidelity is constancy in keeping one's word. Through the sacrament, spouses share in the faithfulness of Christ to his Church and witness it to the world.
None of this is presented as an impossible burden. Christ came to restore the original order and gives spouses the grace to live it. The Church also speaks realistically: in situations where living together becomes practically impossible, such as abuse, she permits separation, while the spouses remain married and are not free to marry someone else.
Thus the marriage bond has been established by God himself in such a way that a marriage concluded and consummated between baptized persons can never be dissolved. This bond, which results from the free human act of the spouses and their consummation of the marriage, is a reality, henceforth irrevocable, and gives rise to a covenant guaranteed by God's fidelity.
| Property | What it means in daily life | Where the Church teaches it |
|---|---|---|
| Free consent | Each spouse chooses the other without pressure | CCC 1626, 1627 |
| Unity | One flesh, a shared life and a shared future | CCC 1644 |
| Indissolubility | A bond for life that no human power can break | CCC 1614, 1640 |
| Fidelity | Exclusive love, in body, heart and mind | CCC 1646, 2365 |
| Openness to life | Love that is fruitful in children and in generosity | CCC 1652, 2366 |
Open to life and generous in love
Church teachingThe Church teaches that marriage and married love are by their nature ordered to the procreation and education of children, which the Catechism calls the crowning glory of marriage. Fruitfulness reaches beyond the birth of a child: parents pass on faith, virtue and love, and they are the first educators of their children.
Openness to life does not mean leaving family size to chance. For just reasons, spouses may space births, provided their motive is generous rather than selfish and they respect the meaning of the marriage act. This is the place of natural family planning, which works with the woman's cycle rather than suppressing fertility. Couples facing infertility live this openness too, through patience, adoption, foster care or service to others.
"By its very nature the institution of marriage and married love is ordered to the procreation and education of the offspring and it is in them that it finds its crowning glory." Children are the supreme gift of marriage and contribute greatly to the good of the parents themselves.
The domestic church at home
Church teachingThe Second Vatican Council called the Christian family the domestic church, and the Catechism takes up the phrase. In the home, father, mother and children exercise the priesthood of the baptized through prayer, thanksgiving, a holy life, self denial and active charity. The home is the first school of Christian life and of human virtue.
This sounds lofty, but it is lived in ordinary things: grace before meals, a short prayer together at night, forgiving each other before the day ends, welcoming guests, caring for an elderly parent. Pope Francis reminds families that three small phrases matter enormously in this school: please, thank you and sorry.
Intimacy as a sign of the whole gift
Church teachingMarried sexuality is not an awkward appendix to the sacrament. The Catechism teaches that in marriage the physical intimacy of the spouses becomes a sign and pledge of spiritual communion. It concerns the innermost being of the person and is truly human only as part of a love that commits until death. Gaudium et Spes calls the acts by which spouses are intimately and chastely united noble and worthy.
The Church names two meanings in the marriage act, unitive and procreative, and teaches that they belong together. Within that frame, spouses have wide freedom to enjoy each other and grow closer. Pope Francis writes that the erotic dimension of love is a gift from God that enriches the relationship, and also that an act imposed on a spouse without regard for their condition or wishes is not an act of love. Saint John Paul II developed this vision at length in the Theology of the Body.
Specific questions about what is allowed are answered in our is it a sin section, each with the paragraph it rests on.
Sexuality is ordered to the conjugal love of man and woman. In marriage the physical intimacy of the spouses becomes a sign and pledge of spiritual communion. Marriage bonds between baptized persons are sanctified by the sacrament.
Living the sacrament day by day
Pastoral guidanceThe grace of the sacrament is not a one time gift on the wedding day. The Catechism says Christ dwells with the spouses and gives them strength to take up their crosses, rise after falls, forgive one another and bear one another's burdens. Pope Francis adds a realistic note: no couple has to reproduce perfectly the union of Christ and the Church. Marriage is a road that advances gradually.
Some practical habits help couples stay close through the years:
- Pray together, even briefly. A shared psalm or a decade of the rosary is enough.
- Keep a weekly time to talk about what matters, not only logistics.
- Protect your intimacy from tiredness and screens, and talk about it openly and kindly.
- Return often to confession and the Eucharist, separately and together.
- Ask for help early. A priest, a mentor couple or a counselor who shares your faith can make a real difference.
Our site gathers everything we write about Catholic intimacy and marriage in one place, with sources for every claim, so couples can read, talk and grow together.
Sources
Every source below is linked to the full text on vatican.va or usccb.org. Quotations are short and given word for word.
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CCC 1601 Doctrine
Catechism of the Catholic Church 1601 (The Sacrament of Matrimony)
Marriage is a covenant in which a man and a woman form a partnership of the whole of life. By its nature it is ordered to the good of the spouses and to having and raising children, and between baptized persons Christ raised it to a sacrament.
Read the source -
CCC 1603 Doctrine
Catechism of the Catholic Church 1603 (The Sacrament of Matrimony)
Marriage is not a purely human invention. God himself is the author of marriage, written into the very nature of man and woman as they came from the Creator's hand, and it is a lasting community of life and love governed by his laws.
Read the source -
CCC 1614 Doctrine
Catechism of the Catholic Church 1614 (The Sacrament of Matrimony)
Jesus taught the original meaning of marriage as the Creator willed it from the beginning: the union of husband and wife is indissoluble, and what God has joined, no human being may separate.
Read the source -
CCC 1626 Doctrine
Catechism of the Catholic Church 1626 (The Sacrament of Matrimony)
The exchange of consent between the spouses is the indispensable element that makes the marriage. If consent is lacking, there is no marriage.
Read the source -
CCC 1627 Doctrine
Catechism of the Catholic Church 1627 (The Sacrament of Matrimony)
Consent is a human act by which the partners give themselves to each other, I take you to be my wife, I take you to be my husband, and it is fulfilled when the two become one flesh.
Read the source -
CCC 1640 Doctrine
Catechism of the Catholic Church 1640 (The Sacrament of Matrimony)
The bond of a marriage concluded and consummated between baptized persons is established by God himself and can never be dissolved. The Church has no power to contravene this disposition of divine wisdom.
Read the source -
CCC 1642 Doctrine
Catechism of the Catholic Church 1642 (The Sacrament of Matrimony)
Christ is the source of the grace of marriage. He dwells with the spouses and gives them the strength to take up their crosses, rise after falls, forgive one another, bear one another's burdens and love with a supernatural, tender and fruitful love.
Read the source -
CCC 1644 Doctrine
Catechism of the Catholic Church 1644 (The Sacrament of Matrimony)
The love of the spouses requires by its nature the unity and indissolubility of their community of persons, which embraces their entire life. They are no longer two, but one flesh, and are called to grow continually in their communion.
Read the source -
CCC 1646 Doctrine
Catechism of the Catholic Church 1646 (The Sacrament of Matrimony)
By its very nature conjugal love requires the inviolable fidelity of the spouses, the consequence of the gift of themselves to each other. Love seeks to be definitive, not an arrangement until further notice.
Read the source -
CCC 1649 Doctrine
Catechism of the Catholic Church 1649 (The Sacrament of Matrimony)
There are situations in which living together becomes practically impossible. In such cases the Church permits physical separation of the couple; the spouses do not cease to be husband and wife and are not free to contract a new union.
Read the source -
CCC 1652 Doctrine
Catechism of the Catholic Church 1652 (The Sacrament of Matrimony)
By its very nature marriage and married love are ordered to the procreation and education of children, which are its crowning glory. Children are the supreme gift of marriage and contribute greatly to the good of the parents.
Read the source -
CCC 1657 Doctrine
Catechism of the Catholic Church 1657 (The Sacrament of Matrimony)
In the home, father, mother and children exercise the priesthood of the baptized through prayer, thanksgiving, the witness of a holy life, self-denial and active charity. The home is the first school of Christian life.
Read the source -
CCC 1666 Doctrine
Catechism of the Catholic Church 1666 (The Sacrament of Matrimony)
The Christian home is the place where children first hear the proclamation of the faith, rightly called the domestic church: a community of grace and prayer and a school of human virtues and Christian charity.
Read the source -
CCC 2360 Doctrine
Catechism of the Catholic Church 2360 (The Sixth Commandment)
Sexuality is ordered to the conjugal love of man and woman. In marriage the physical intimacy of the spouses becomes a sign and pledge of spiritual communion, and the sacrament sanctifies their bond.
Read the source -
CCC 2361 Doctrine
Catechism of the Catholic Church 2361 (The Sixth Commandment)
Sexuality, by which husband and wife give themselves to each other through the acts proper to spouses, is not merely biological but concerns the innermost being of the person. It is truly human only as part of the love by which a man and woman commit themselves totally to one another until death.
Read the source -
CCC 2363 Doctrine
Catechism of the Catholic Church 2363 (The Sixth Commandment)
The spouses' union achieves the twofold end of marriage: the good of the spouses themselves and the transmission of life. These two meanings, unitive and procreative, cannot be separated without altering the spiritual life of the couple and compromising the goods of marriage and the future of the family.
Read the source -
CCC 2365 Doctrine
Catechism of the Catholic Church 2365 (The Sixth Commandment)
Fidelity is constancy in keeping one's given word. The sacrament of Matrimony enables husband and wife to share in Christ's fidelity to his Church, and through their faithfulness they bear witness to this mystery before the world.
Read the source -
GS 48 Magisterium
Second Vatican Council, Gaudium et Spes 48 (1965)
The intimate partnership of married life and love is established by the Creator and rooted in the conjugal covenant of irrevocable personal consent. Spouses become one flesh, render mutual help and service, and the good of the couple and of children demands total fidelity and unbreakable oneness.
Read the source -
GS 49 Magisterium
Second Vatican Council, Gaudium et Spes 49 (1965)
Conjugal love involves the good of the whole person and enriches body and mind. It is uniquely expressed through the marital act: the acts in marriage by which the couple are intimately and chastely united are noble and worthy, and expressed in a truly human way they signify and promote mutual self-giving.
Read the source -
AL 122 Magisterium
Pope Francis, Amoris Laetitia 122 (2016)
There is no need to lay on two limited persons the tremendous burden of perfectly reproducing the union between Christ and the Church. Marriage is a dynamic process that advances gradually with the progressive integration of God's gifts.
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AL 133 Magisterium
Pope Francis, Amoris Laetitia 133 (2016)
Love must be freely and generously expressed in words and acts. In the family three words are needed: please, thank you and sorry.
Read the source -
AL 152 Magisterium
Pope Francis, Amoris Laetitia 152 (2016)
The erotic dimension of love can in no way be seen as a permissible evil or a burden to be tolerated; it is a gift from God that enriches the relationship of the spouses. As a passion sublimated by love respectful of the other's dignity, it becomes a pure affirmation revealing the marvels of the human heart.
Read the source -
AL 154 Magisterium
Pope Francis, Amoris Laetitia 154 (2016)
Within marriage itself sex can become a source of suffering and manipulation. A conjugal act imposed on one's spouse without regard to his or her condition or personal and reasonable wishes is no true act of love, and acts proper to the sexual union must respect the dignity of the spouse.
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