For couples who have waited for marriage, the wedding night can carry a great deal of hope and a fair amount of nervousness. Films and stories suggest it should be effortless and perfect. Real life is usually different. The first time is often awkward, sometimes funny and occasionally uncomfortable, and that is completely normal. This lesson offers practical and pastoral guidance so you can begin your married life with peace instead of pressure.
A beginning, not a performance
The wedding night is the first chapter of a long story. Many couples find that intimacy grows more comfortable and more joyful over months and years as they learn each other. If things do not go smoothly the first night, nothing has gone wrong with your marriage. The sacrament is real from your vows, and the grace of marriage accompanies you as you learn (CCC 1641).
It also helps to remember that you will likely be tired. Weddings are long days full of emotion, travel and people. Some couples choose to rest first and come together the next morning or later in the honeymoon. That is a perfectly good choice.
Keep reading with Membership
The full lesson, every track and course, and Ask with Sources for you and your spouse.
Sources
- CCC 2362 Catechism of the Catholic Church, The love of husband and wife
- CCC 1638-1642 Catechism of the Catholic Church, The effects of the sacrament of Matrimony
- Gaudium et Spes 49 Gaudium et Spes (Vatican II, 1965)
- Familiaris Consortio 66 Familiaris Consortio (John Paul II, 1981), Preparation for marriage