Mutual pleasure and fulfillment for both spouses

For many couples, intimacy works well for one spouse and less well for the other. Sometimes this goes unspoken for years. Catholic teaching has something encouraging to say here. Pleasure in marriage is not selfish or suspect. It is a good the Creator intended, and it is meant to be shared. Caring about your spouse’s fulfillment is an act of love.

Pleasure is part of the design

The Catechism teaches that the Creator himself established that in the generative function spouses should experience pleasure and enjoyment of body and spirit, and that they do nothing evil in seeking it and enjoying it (CCC 2362). Pope Pius XII made the same point in addressing married couples, and it has been repeated in Church teaching since.

Pope Francis goes further, describing erotic love as a gift from God that enriches the relationship of the spouses, and warning against treating it as merely tolerated (Amoris Laetitia 150-152). He also cautions that pleasure must always be part of mutual self-giving, never self-centered.