When intimacy is painful

Pain during intercourse is something many couples face and few talk about. It can appear on the wedding night, after childbirth, during perimenopause or seemingly out of nowhere. It can bring frustration, sadness, guilt or a sense of failure. If this is your situation, please hear this first: you are not alone, it is not your fault and help exists. The Church fully supports seeking medical care, and there is nothing unspiritual about it.

Understanding the medical side

This section offers general information only. Talk to your doctor about your own situation.

• Dyspareunia is the medical term for painful intercourse. It has many possible causes, including infections, skin conditions, hormonal changes, insufficient arousal, endometriosis and pelvic floor problems.
• Vaginismus involves involuntary tightening of the pelvic floor muscles that can make penetration painful or impossible. It is not a choice, and it is not a sign of a lack of love. It is often very treatable.
• Postpartum changes can cause pain after childbirth, including healing tissue, scarring and lower estrogen levels during breastfeeding. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists encourages ongoing postpartum care rather than a single checkup, so raise concerns with your OB-GYN.
• Hormonal changes around perimenopause and menopause can also cause discomfort. Physicians have treatment options.