Many couples imagine that romance is something that happens on anniversaries, vacations or rare nights out. Those are good. But most of married life happens on ordinary Tuesdays, between laundry, work, homework and dishes. If romance only lives on special occasions, it will be absent most of the time. The good news is that desire and closeness respond very well to small, steady acts of attention.
Romance is attention
At its heart, romance is the experience of being noticed and chosen. Pope Francis encourages couples to build small daily rituals of love: a kiss in the morning, a blessing at night, waiting at the door, sharing a meal, celebrating together (Amoris Laetitia 225-226). These little rituals tell your spouse, over and over, "you matter to me." That message, repeated, is fertile ground for desire.
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Sources
- CCC 1642 Catechism of the Catholic Church, Christ the source of grace for spouses
- CCC 1603-1605 Catechism of the Catholic Church, Marriage in the order of creation
- Amoris Laetitia 224-226 Amoris Laetitia, Pope Francis, Time together and daily rituals
- Song of Songs 8:6-7 Love is strong as death
- Gaudium et Spes 49 Gaudium et Spes, Second Vatican Council, Conjugal love