Couples who use natural family planning to postpone pregnancy often notice something ironic. The days of abstinence can fall exactly when one or both spouses feel the strongest desire. That can be frustrating, and it is better to say so honestly than to pretend it is always easy. The Church does not ask you to feel nothing. She asks you to carry this with love, and she offers good reasons to believe it can strengthen your marriage.
What the Church teaches
The Church teaches that spouses may, for just reasons, space births by making use of the natural infertile periods (CCC 2368, CCC 2370). Periodic continence respects the meaning of the marital act and the bodies of the spouses. Saint Paul VI wrote that this discipline, "far from harming conjugal love, rather confers on it a higher human value" (Humanae Vitae 21). He also acknowledged that it demands continual effort, and that it helps spouses to grow in self mastery and attention to one another.
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Sources
- Humanae Vitae 21 Humanae Vitae, Paul VI, Mastery of self
- CCC 2368 Catechism of the Catholic Church, Just reasons for spacing births
- CCC 2370 Catechism of the Catholic Church, Periodic continence and contraception
- CCC 2352 Catechism of the Catholic Church, Masturbation
- Familiaris Consortio 32 Familiaris Consortio, John Paul II, The Church's teaching on responsible parenthood