Why married couples go on retreat
Church teachingThe Council describes married life as an intimate partnership of life and love, established by the Creator and rooted in the irrevocable consent of the spouses, in which husband and wife render mutual help and service. Partnerships need attention. A retreat is simply time set apart to give that attention: to pray, to remember why you married, and to talk about what daily life crowds out.
The Catechism adds that Christ dwells with the spouses and gives them strength to rise after falls and forgive one another. A retreat is one of the ordinary ways couples open themselves to that grace. It does not need to be dramatic. For many couples it is the first unhurried conversation in months.
The intimate partnership of married life and love has been established by the Creator and qualified by His laws, and is rooted in the conjugal covenant of irrevocable personal consent.
What makes an online retreat different
Pastoral guidanceA weekend away is a gift, but many couples cannot manage it. Small children, shift work, cost and distance get in the way. An online retreat keeps the core of a retreat (silence, Scripture and Church teaching, reflection and conversation) and fits it into your evenings at home.
Spreading it over eight weeks also has an advantage of its own. Habits change slowly. A single weekend can inspire a couple and then fade by the next month, while eight weeks of small practices give new habits time to settle. Pope Francis describes marriage as a dynamic process that advances gradually, and an eight week rhythm respects that.
We should not however confuse different levels: there is no need to lay upon two limited persons the tremendous burden of having to reproduce perfectly the union existing between Christ and his Church, for marriage as a sign entails “a dynamic process…, one which advances gradually with the progressive integration of the gifts of God”.
Online retreat, weekend retreat or parish evening
Each format has its place, and many couples use more than one over the years.
| Online retreat in the Couples Program | Weekend retreat away | Parish evening | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Time needed | About an hour a week for 8 weeks | Two or three days | One evening |
| Childcare and travel | None needed | Usually needed | Sometimes needed |
| Depth on intimacy | Full weeks with sources and exercises | Depends on the retreat | Rarely covered |
| Private guidance | A 30 minute consultation every 3 months | Sometimes a talk with the priest | Rarely |
| After it ends | Library, other programs and live Q&A continue | Depends on the organizer | Usually nothing |
Five programs for different seasons of marriage
Pastoral guidanceThe Couples Program has five guided 8 week programs, and each can serve as a retreat for a particular season.
- Rekindle. For couples who are fine but distant, and want closeness back.
- Libido Mismatch. For couples whose desire differs and who want to stop hurting each other over it.
- Postpartum Intimacy. For the months after a baby. See also our guide to intimacy after birth.
- Rebuilding Trust after Porn. For couples on the road of healing from porn, with spiritual and practical steps.
- Engaged, Preparing for the Wedding Night. For couples before the wedding, alongside their Catholic marriage preparation.
Each week includes a short reading from Church documents, a lesson, an exercise to do together and conversation cards. Many couples end a program by renewing their promises privately in prayer.
Intimacy as part of the retreat
Church teachingRetreats sometimes avoid the subject of sex, as if it were not part of the spiritual life of a marriage. The Church sees it differently. Pope Francis writes that a love lacking pleasure or passion is not enough to symbolize the union of the human heart with God, and the Council teaches that married love enriches body and mind. A retreat that renews a marriage can include, chastely and honestly, how husband and wife love each other in body as well as in word.
Our programs treat this with care: no explicit content, clear teaching with sources, and exercises that are about conversation and affection, always respecting the freedom of each spouse.
The Second Vatican Council teaches that this conjugal love “embraces the good of the whole person; it can enrich the sentiments of the spirit and their physical expression with a unique dignity and ennoble them as the special features and manifestation of the friendship proper to marriage”.
Choose the Couples Program
Pastoral guidanceThe Couples Program includes all five guided programs, weekly exercises and conversation cards, everything in Membership (the library, courses and the monthly live expert Q&A), Ask with Sources with 300 questions a month and one private 30 minute video consultation every 3 months (4 a year on yearly) with a Catholic therapist, a Catholic sex therapist or an NFP instructor. Two logins, one plan, $49 a month or $24 a month billed yearly ($288). There is no free plan.
The consultation is not a replacement for ongoing licensed therapy or crisis care. If your marriage is in serious difficulty, see a local counselor and your priest as well. For everything else, this is a quiet place at home to grow in Catholic intimacy and marriage. See the pricing and get started this week.
Couples Program
For a couple who wants guided programs and a counselor. Two logins, one plan.
$24 /month
Billed $288 yearly, or $49 billed monthly
Choose the Couples Program- Five guided 8 week programs, including Engaged
- Completion certificate listing every module
- One private 30 minute video consultation every 3 months
- Catholic therapist, sex therapist or NFP instructor
- Ask with Sources, 300 questions a month
- Full library, courses and monthly live Q&A
Sources
Every source below is linked to the full text on vatican.va or usccb.org. Quotations are short and given word for word.
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GS 48 Magisterium
Second Vatican Council, Gaudium et Spes 48 (1965)
The intimate partnership of married life and love is established by the Creator and rooted in the conjugal covenant of irrevocable personal consent. Spouses become one flesh, render mutual help and service, and the good of the couple and of children demands total fidelity and unbreakable oneness.
Read the source -
GS 49 Magisterium
Second Vatican Council, Gaudium et Spes 49 (1965)
Conjugal love involves the good of the whole person and enriches body and mind. It is uniquely expressed through the marital act: the acts in marriage by which the couple are intimately and chastely united are noble and worthy, and expressed in a truly human way they signify and promote mutual self-giving.
Read the source -
CCC 1642 Doctrine
Catechism of the Catholic Church 1642 (The Sacrament of Matrimony)
Christ is the source of the grace of marriage. He dwells with the spouses and gives them the strength to take up their crosses, rise after falls, forgive one another, bear one another's burdens and love with a supernatural, tender and fruitful love.
Read the source -
AL 122 Magisterium
Pope Francis, Amoris Laetitia 122 (2016)
There is no need to lay on two limited persons the tremendous burden of perfectly reproducing the union between Christ and the Church. Marriage is a dynamic process that advances gradually with the progressive integration of God's gifts.
Read the source -
AL 142 Magisterium
Pope Francis, Amoris Laetitia 142 (2016)
The Council taught that conjugal love embraces the good of the whole person and can ennoble the physical expression of love. A love lacking either pleasure or passion is insufficient to symbolize the union of the human heart with God.
Read the source