Catholic prayer for husband and wife

A Catholic prayer for husband and wife can be very simple: thank God for each other, ask for help to love well, and place your marriage in his hands. Below are short prayers you can pray together tonight, plus the Our Father, the Hail Mary and the prayer of Tobias and Sarah.

Plenty of couples want to pray together and still feel strangely shy about it. You can talk about money, children and in-laws, yet folding your hands next to your spouse feels exposed. That's normal, and it gets easier. This article gives you words to start with, some honest advice for the awkward weeks, and a little of the Church's teaching on why it matters. For the bigger picture of how faith and married love fit together, see our overview of Catholic intimacy.

Why couple prayer matters to the Church

The Church doesn't treat marriage as a private arrangement that happens to involve two Catholics. It calls the Christian family the domestic church, a phrase the Second Vatican Council took from early Christian writers (CCC 1656). The Catechism describes the Christian home as "a community of grace and prayer" and a school of human virtues and Christian charity (CCC 1666).

It also says that in the home, husband, wife and children exercise the priesthood of the baptized in a special way, through the sacraments, "prayer and thanksgiving," the witness of a holy life, self-denial and active charity (CCC 1657). In other words, when you pray together at the kitchen table, you aren't doing something extra on top of your marriage. You're doing one of the things a Christian marriage is for.

There's grace behind it, too. The sacrament of Matrimony gives spouses a grace of its own, meant to perfect their love and strengthen their unity (CCC 1641). Christ himself is the source of that grace, and he stays with the couple, helping them carry their crosses, forgive one another and bear one another's burdens (CCC 1642). Prayer is how you open the door to that help day by day.

Short prayers for husband and wife

The following prayers were written by the CatholicSex editorial team. They aren't official liturgical texts. They're simple, ordinary words that any couple can use as they are or change to fit their own life. Pray them aloud, one of you or both, or take turns line by line.

A morning prayer for the two of us

Lord, thank you for this day and for the person beside me. Help us to be patient with each other, honest in what we say, and quick to notice what the other needs. Whatever comes today, keep us on the same side. Amen.

A prayer for my spouse

Father, I bring you my husband (my wife). You know their worries better than I do. Give them rest where they're tired, courage where they're afraid, and joy in the work of their hands. Help me to love them as you love them. Amen.

An evening prayer of thanks and sorry

Lord Jesus, thank you for the good things in our day. Forgive us where we were sharp, distracted or unkind. Help us to say sorry to each other before we sleep, and to wake up ready to begin again. Mary, Mother of God, pray for our family. Amen.

A prayer before marital intimacy

God of love, thank you for the gift of each other and for the closeness of marriage. Make our love generous, gentle and true, so that we give ourselves freely and receive each other with gratitude. Let our union honor you and draw us closer as one. Amen.

A prayer in a hard season

Lord, this is a hard time for us. We're tired, and sometimes we don't understand each other. Stay with us. Give us patience for today, help us to listen before we answer, and show us the next small step. We trust that you haven't left us. Amen.

A blessing to give each other

May the Lord bless you and keep you. May he give you peace today and bring you home safely to me. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

For the blessing, some couples trace a small cross on each other's forehead. It takes five seconds at the door in the morning, and it's one of the easiest habits to keep.

Traditional prayers couples can share

The prayer of Tobias and Sarah

The Book of Tobit, chapter 8, tells the story of Tobias and Sarah on their wedding night. Before anything else, they get up and pray together. Tobias blesses God, recalls that God made Adam and gave him Eve as a helper and companion, and says he takes Sarah as his wife not out of lust but with sincere intention. He asks God's mercy so that they may grow old together. Sarah joins him and they say "Amen" together.

Many Catholic couples read this passage at their wedding, and some read it again on anniversaries. You can open your Bible to Tobit 8 and pray it slowly, or use it as a model for your own words. It's a beautiful picture of what the Church means when it says married love includes the body and the spirit at once.

The Our Father and the Hail Mary

Don't underestimate the prayers you already know by heart. An Our Father said together, holding hands, before you go to sleep, is a real prayer, not a lesser one. A single Hail Mary in the car before a difficult conversation can change its tone. Some couples add one decade of the Rosary in the evening, and others pray a full Rosary on Sundays. Start with what you'll actually keep.

How to pray together when it feels awkward

Awkwardness is usually about exposure. Praying aloud lets your spouse hear what you really care about, and that can feel more intimate than many other things. A few practical ideas:

• Start tiny. One Our Father at night is enough. Consistency matters more than length.
• Use written prayers first. Reading words together removes the pressure to be eloquent. Spontaneous prayer can come later.
• Pick a fixed moment. After dinner, before lights out, or in the car on the way to Mass. Tie it to something you already do.
• Take turns leading. It shouldn't always fall on one spouse. Share it.
• Add one line of your own. After the written prayer, each of you adds a short intention, "for my mother's surgery," "for patience at work." This is where prayer gets personal.
• Don't critique each other's prayer. Ever. It needs to be a safe place.
• Forgive missed days. If you skip a week, just start again tonight.

Pope Francis writes that love has to be expressed freely and generously in words and acts, and that a family needs three simple words, please, thank you and sorry (Amoris Laetitia 133). Couple prayer is a natural home for all three. You ask God and each other for help, you give thanks, and you say sorry with God listening.

Praying for your spouse, and praying when things are hard

Praying with your spouse and praying for your spouse are different and both matter. Praying for them alone, perhaps on your commute or in a quiet moment at church, changes how you see them. It's hard to stay contemptuous of someone you've been asking God to bless every morning.

In difficult seasons (a new baby, unemployment, illness, grief, conflict that won't settle) couple prayer often shrinks to almost nothing. That's okay. Keep the smallest piece you can, even a sign of the cross together. The Church is realistic here. Amoris Laetitia reminds us that marriage is a dynamic process that grows gradually, and that two limited people aren't expected to reproduce perfectly the love between Christ and the Church (Amoris Laetitia 122). Prayer in a hard time isn't about doing it beautifully. It's about not letting go of each other or of God.

If a hard season includes serious conflict, depression, or any kind of fear for your safety, prayer is a support, not a substitute. Talk to a doctor or counselor, and reach out to a pastor. If anyone is in danger, contact emergency services first.

Prayer and intimacy belong together

Some couples feel it's odd to mention prayer and the marriage bed in the same breath. The Church doesn't. It teaches that in marriage the physical intimacy of the spouses becomes a sign and pledge of spiritual communion (CCC 2360), and that spouses are called to grow continually in their communion through daily fidelity (CCC 1644). A short prayer of thanks before or after being together, chastely and simply worded like the one above, can help you remember what that closeness is for.

This isn't Church doctrine in the sense of a rule. No one is required to pray before marital intimacy. It's a devotional practice many couples find meaningful, and you're free to take it or leave it. If you'd like to understand the deeper reasons the Church sees the body as part of how we love, our page on the Theology of the Body explains it in plain language.

Help for growing in prayer as a couple

If you'd like structure, the Rekindle program in our Couples Program includes a week focused on prayer as a couple, with short daily practices you can do together. The Couples Program also includes a private thirty minute video consultation every three months with a Catholic therapist, sex therapist or NFP instructor, and our library has courses on Catholic marriage. You can see what's included on the Couples Program and pricing pages. If you're still engaged, our marriage preparation resources are a good place to start the habit before the wedding.

Frequently asked questions

What is a good Catholic prayer for husband and wife to say together?

The Our Father said together is always a good place to start. You can also use short written prayers like the ones above, the prayer of Tobias and Sarah from Tobit 8, or one decade of the Rosary in the evening.

Is it required for Catholic couples to pray together?

There's no specific rule about how often couples must pray together. But the Church calls the family a domestic church and a community of prayer, so praying together is a natural part of living a Christian marriage.

What if my spouse doesn't want to pray with me?

Don't push. Pray for your spouse on your own, invite them gently now and then, and keep it short and low pressure. Many spouses join in once prayer stops feeling like a test.

Can we make up our own prayers?

Yes. Spontaneous prayer in your own words is completely Catholic. Many couples combine a traditional prayer with a sentence or two of their own intentions.