Witness to Love alternative for parish marriage prep

Witness to Love is a mentor based Catholic marriage prep program in which each engaged couple chooses a married couple to walk with them, supported by workbooks, a retreat and parish leaders. Couple sets list at $128 and the online Hybrid Experience at $195. Parishes look for an alternative when they cannot recruit enough mentors or need couples ready in weeks, not months.

This article is for the person running marriage prep in a US parish: the pastor who wants a program that works, the deacon who meets every couple, or the coordinator who has six weddings on the calendar and three mentor couples who have stopped answering email. Witness to Love is a good program, and many parishes should keep it. Below is what it actually asks of a parish, what it costs, when a lighter alternative makes sense, and how the options compare side by side.

What Witness to Love asks of a parish

Witness to Love was founded by Mary-Rose and Ryan Verret in Louisiana and calls itself a marriage catechumenate. Its central idea is that the engaged couple chooses their own mentors, a married couple they already admire, usually from their own family or parish, and the priest approves the choice. The couple and the mentors meet several times, work through the workbooks, attend a retreat and join parish life together. The goal is a friendship that lasts beyond the wedding.

That design is its strength, and it is also why it is demanding. A parish that runs it well needs a trained coordinator, mentor couples willing to give months of evenings, and time. Blessed Sacrament parish in Seattle tells couples that marriage preparation there usually takes 7 to 9 months. For a couple who got engaged in March and wants a fall wedding, that schedule is already tight.

None of this contradicts what the Church asks. The Catechism calls preparation for marriage of prime importance, so that the yes of the spouses is a free and responsible act (CCC 1632), and it names the example of Christian parents and family as the best preparation of all. Witness to Love takes that seriously by putting a living example next to every couple. The question for a parish is whether it can supply that example for every couple it marries.

What Witness to Love costs

The figures below come from the program's own shop and help pages and from diocesan training listings. Prices change, so confirm before you budget.

The cash cost is moderate. For a parish with fifteen weddings a year, materials come to roughly $1,900 if the parish buys couple sets, plus the retreat subscription and training. The real cost is volunteer time: every engaged couple needs a mentor couple, and every mentor couple needs to be trained and kept going.

When a parish looks for a Witness to Love alternative

Coordinators tell a familiar story. The program launched with energy, a handful of strong mentor couples carried it for two years, and then those couples had a baby, moved, or simply ran out of evenings. Four situations come up most often.

• Not enough mentors. Couples are told to pick a mentor couple, but many engaged couples today do not know a practicing Catholic marriage they would ask. The parish then has to supply one, and the list runs short.
• Short timelines. Military couples, couples moving for work, and couples who come to the parish late cannot always fit 7 to 9 months.
• Second marriages and convalidations. Couples remarrying after an annulment or convalidating a civil marriage often want something that fits their stage. Our pages on Catholic remarriage after annulment and marriage prep for convalidation cover what those couples need.
• Thin teaching on intimacy and fertility. A mentor couple is a witness, not a teacher of Natural Family Planning or the theology of the body, and many engaged couples will not raise questions about sex with a couple from the pew behind them.

The fourth point matters more than coordinators expect. The Church teaches that the acts by which spouses unite are noble and honorable (CCC 2362), and that spacing births for just reasons should be done through natural methods (CCC 2368). Couples need real content on both, and they need a private place to ask.

Witness to Love and the alternatives compared

A parish choosing a program usually weighs Witness to Love against an online course, a diocesan class or retreat, and a home program it can enroll couples in. The table compares the formats parish leaders ask us about. Prices for other providers are as published by the provider or by the Diocese of Orlando's list of approved online courses.

Be honest with yourself about that last row. If your parish has a deep bench of married couples who love mentoring, Witness to Love will build something a home program cannot. An alternative wins on speed, staffing and depth of teaching, not on community.

How the Parish plan works as an alternative

The Catholic marriage preparation program for parishes is built for the coordinator who needs every couple prepared well without recruiting a mentor for each one. A coordinator invites up to 25 engaged couples a month by email. Each couple works through the 8 week Engaged program at home: a short reading drawn from Church documents, a video lesson, an exercise and conversation cards every week. The weeks cover the vows and the body, chastity during engagement, families of origin and past wounds, NFP basics and choosing a method, the wedding night, and a first year plan with prayer.

The coordinator dashboard shows where each couple is and how they did on each week's quiz. When a couple finishes, you download a PDF certificate for the marriage file. Questions a couple types into the assistant stay private to them, and every answer cites the Catechism or Church documents by paragraph. That is where the questions about sex actually get asked. Our guide to Catholic intimacy and marriage, with honest answers shows the tone of those answers.

The plan costs $149 a month, or $74 a month billed yearly ($888). For a parish with fifteen weddings a year, that is about $59 per couple on the yearly plan. It is self serve: create the account on the pricing page, pay by card and invite the first couple the same day. A parish that prepares only two or three couples a year may do better pointing them to the Couples Program at $49 a month.

One honest limit: each diocese decides which programs count toward its requirements, and we do not claim an approval we do not have. Ask your family life office before you change anything.

Keeping what works from Witness to Love

Many parishes do not choose one or the other. They keep the parts of Witness to Love that their volunteers do well and use a home program to carry the teaching. Three patterns work.

1. Mentors for some couples, a program for all. Every couple takes the 8 week program. Couples who already have a mentor couple meet them as well, and the mentors use the weekly topics as their agenda.
2. One sponsor couple for a small group. Instead of one mentor couple per engaged couple, a sponsor couple hosts four or five engaged couples once a month, while the content runs at home.
3. The program as the fast track. Couples with a short timeline, a convalidation or a second marriage take the program, while the parish keeps Witness to Love for couples who can give it the months it needs.

Whichever pattern you choose, add an inventory if your diocese requires one. Our comparison of FOCCUS and Prepare/Enrich for parishes covers the two most common ones. Larger dioceses that certify dozens of mentor couples a year sometimes move that training onto a learning system that tracks who finished which module, so the family life office knows which parishes have trained teams.

Frequently asked questions

How much does Witness to Love cost?

Witness to Love lists couple sets at $128 each plus tax and shipping, which includes three workbooks and access to its learning platform. The online Hybrid Experience is $195 per couple. Parishes also pay for leader training, listed at $75 per couple at one 2023 diocesan training, and may buy the Be More retreat subscription.

How long does Witness to Love marriage prep take?

Several months at most parishes. Blessed Sacrament in Seattle tells couples to expect 7 to 9 months, because the program is built around meetings with a mentor couple, a retreat and parish involvement. Couples on a short timeline should ask the parish early whether a faster option is accepted.

Can you do Witness to Love online?

Yes. The Witness to Love Hybrid Experience, formerly called the Virtual Pathway, is an online version for couples whose parish does not run the program. It costs $195 per couple and includes materials for the couple and their mentors and online coaching from trained Witness to Love coaches.

Do we have to pick our own mentor couple?

In Witness to Love, yes. The engaged couple chooses a married couple they admire and the priest approves them. If you do not know a couple to ask, tell the parish early. Some parishes supply a mentor couple, and others suggest a different program.

Is Witness to Love required by my diocese?

Some dioceses and parishes use it as their standard program, others list it as one option among several. Your diocesan family life office or your parish sets the requirement. Ask what is accepted before you buy any materials or pay for an online course.

What is a good alternative to Witness to Love for a small parish?

A small parish without enough mentor couples often pairs a home program with one sponsor couple and the priest's own meetings. The Couples Program at $49 a month suits two or three couples a year, and the Parish plan at $888 a year suits parishes with more weddings.

Whatever the format, the aim does not change. The sacrament gives spouses the grace to love each other with the love Christ has for the Church (CCC 1642), and the consent they exchange is what makes the marriage (CCC 1626). Good preparation helps a couple say that yes knowing what it means.