Catholic marriage prep for convalidation when you are already married civilly

Every diocese sets its own steps, and your priest or deacon is the one who confirms them. In most US parishes, a convalidation looks something like this.

• A first meeting with the priest or deacon. He asks about your history, any earlier marriages and your reasons for convalidating. If either of you was married before, an annulment may be needed before anything else can be scheduled.
• Documents. Recently issued baptism certificates for the Catholic party (or both), confirmation records if available, and a copy of your civil marriage license.
• A relationship inventory. Many parishes use a questionnaire such as FOCCUS or Prepare/Enrich, reviewed with a sponsor couple or the priest.
• A preparation course. Some dioceses run a short convalidation class; others accept an approved online course. This is the step most couples have the least time for.
• The ceremony. Usually a simple, short liturgy with two witnesses. Some couples choose a full wedding Mass with family; both are a real exchange of vows.

Before you pay for any course, ask the parish which programs it accepts. Our certificate lists every module you completed, so you can show the priest exactly what you covered.

Couples convalidating usually choose between a diocesan class, a commercial online course and a program they work through at home. The table compares common formats. Prices of other providers are as listed by the Diocese of Orlando for its approved online courses and can change, so check the provider before you register.

Most marriage prep is written for engaged couples planning a first home. You already have one. You may have children, a mortgage and years of habits, good and bad, around money, conflict and sex. A useful convalidation preparation meets you there instead of asking you to pretend you are starting from zero.

Three topics come up again and again with convalidating couples. The first is contraception: many couples used it for years and want to know what changes when they marry in the Church, and how natural family planning works in practice for a couple with a busy family life. The second is intimacy that has become routine or tense, which is exactly what the Rekindle weeks address. The third is the past: an earlier relationship, a pregnancy before marriage, or one spouse who is not Catholic. None of these block a convalidation, and none of them need to be carried alone. Confession is open to the Catholic spouse before the ceremony, and the private consultation is a safe place for the question you would rather not raise in a parish hall.

The Church does not see the sexual life of married spouses as something to be tolerated. The Catechism calls the acts in which spouses unite noble and honorable, and says that, lived in a truly human way, they signify and foster the self giving by which husband and wife enrich each other with joy and gratitude. Convalidation is a good moment to look at your intimate life with fresh eyes, as part of the sacrament rather than outside it.

If you have questions about what is and is not allowed, our honest answers in Is it a sin cite the paragraph behind every claim, and the assistant answers your own question from the Catechism with paragraph numbers.

The Couples Program has five guided 8 week programs. Convalidating couples usually take Rekindle, which is written for spouses who have been together for years, and add the weeks on the vows and natural family planning from the Engaged program. Each week has a short reading drawn from Church documents, a video lesson, an exercise to do together and conversation cards for the topics that are hard to raise on your own. When you finish, the certificate lists every module you completed.

The plan also includes everything in Membership: the full library, the monthly live Q&A with experts and Ask with Sources, 300 questions a month answered from the Catechism with paragraph numbers. Every three months you book a private 30 minute video consultation with a Catholic therapist, a Catholic sex therapist or an NFP instructor. Two logins, one plan, $49 a month or $24 a month billed yearly. There is no free plan. If your parish runs convalidation classes and wants a shared program for its couples, the self serve Parish plan covers that.

You do not need a date on the parish calendar to begin. Couples who start the first weeks before the meeting with their priest usually walk in with clearer answers and fewer worries, and the conversation turns quickly to scheduling. If you are still deciding between formats, our guide to Catholic marriage preparation compares parish, diocesan and online options, and Pre Cana online explains the Engaged program in detail. When you are ready, choose the Couples Program on the pricing page and open the first week together tonight.