Does a non Catholic have to do Pre Cana
Pastoral guidanceYes, in practice. When a Catholic marries in the Church, the parish prepares the couple, not only the Catholic half of it. The Catechism calls preparation for marriage of prime importance, so that the yes each of you speaks is free and responsible. That applies whether your fiance or fiancee is Lutheran, Baptist, Jewish, Muslim or has no religion at all.
What a non Catholic partner does not have to do is convert, be baptized or sign a promise about the faith. The preparation asks you to understand what your future spouse believes about marriage and to say honestly whether you can share that life. Many non Catholic partners tell us the hardest part was not the content but walking into a parish hall where everybody else seemed to know the vocabulary. That is the gap this program is built for, and it is why Catholic intimacy and marriage are explained here in plain words, with the source next to each claim.
So that the "I do" of the spouses may be a free and responsible act and so that the marriage covenant may have solid and lasting human and Christian foundations, preparation for marriage is of prime importance. The example and teaching given by parents and families remain the special form of this preparation.
What the Church asks of each of you
Church teachingChurch law treats two situations differently, and your priest or deacon handles the paperwork for both. The table shows the usual picture in US dioceses. Your diocese confirms the details.
| Baptized non Catholic (Protestant, Orthodox) | Not baptized (Jewish, Muslim, no religion) | |
|---|---|---|
| What the Church calls it | A mixed marriage | A marriage with disparity of worship |
| What is needed | Permission from the bishop | A dispensation from the bishop, required for the marriage to be valid |
| Who requests it | The priest or deacon, with the Catholic partner | The priest or deacon, with the Catholic partner |
| What the Catholic partner promises | To keep the faith and do all in his or her power to have the children baptized and raised Catholic | The same promise |
| What the non Catholic partner promises | Nothing. You are told about the promise so it is not a surprise | Nothing. You are told about the promise |
| Marriage preparation | Required for the couple | Required for the couple |
| The ceremony | Usually a wedding without Mass, so both families can take full part | A wedding without Mass, with its own form of the rite |
The promise about children is the conversation to have early
Pastoral guidanceOnly the Catholic partner makes a promise, and it is a promise to do what is in his or her power, not a guarantee signed by both of you. Still, it lands on the non Catholic partner too, because it concerns your children. Couples who leave it until the week before the meeting with the priest often have their first real argument about religion in his office.
The Church sees children as the natural fruit of married love and teaches that parents are the first educators of their children in faith. A good preparation gives you room to say what each of you actually wants: baptism, Sunday practice, which holidays, what you will tell the grandparents. The week on family, money and prayer has conversation cards for exactly this, and you can bring the hard part to the private consultation if you get stuck.
"By its very nature the institution of marriage and married love is ordered to the procreation and education of the offspring and it is in them that it finds its crowning glory." Children are the supreme gift of marriage and contribute greatly to the good of the parents themselves.
Pre Cana options for interfaith couples compared
Interfaith couples usually choose between the parish or diocesan class, a commercial online course and a program they work through at home. Prices of the two commercial courses are the per couple fees listed by the Diocese of Orlando for the online courses it accepts, and providers change them, so check before you register.
| Couples Program | Parish or diocesan Pre Cana day | Catholic Marriage Prep | The Marriage Group | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Price | $49 a month, or $288 a year | Set by the parish or diocese | From $239 per couple | $225 per couple |
| Format | Guided weeks at home, together | A day or weekend in a group | Online with a mentor couple | On demand video, about 8 hours |
| Explains Catholic terms for a partner new to them | Yes, every claim cites its source and Ask with Sources answers follow up questions | Depends on the presenters | Mentor couple answers questions | Video lessons, no personal follow up |
| Private place for hard questions | A 30 minute consultation every three months | Usually not | Mentor couple | No |
| Intimacy and NFP depth | Full weeks on both | Usually one short session | Theology of the Body included, NFP training separate | NFP sold as a separate course |
| Accepted by your parish | Ask your priest | Yes, in that parish or diocese | Ask your priest | Ask your priest |
What the non Catholic partner usually wants to know
Pastoral guidanceThe questions repeat from couple to couple, and none of them is rude to ask.
- Why does the Church care how we marry? Because it holds that the exchange of consent makes the marriage, and it wants that consent given freely and in a form it can witness. Our page on Catholic marriage walks through what the vows mean.
- What does the Church teach about sex and contraception? That married intimacy is good and honorable, and that spouses space children through natural methods rather than contraception. The page on natural family planning explains how that works in practice, and the comparison of NFP and contraception answers the objection most partners raise first.
- Can we live together before the wedding? Your priest will raise it, kindly in most parishes. The answer and the reasons are in sex before marriage.
- Will I be able to receive Communion at our wedding? In most cases no, which is one reason these weddings are usually celebrated without Mass. Ask your priest how he handles it, so nobody in your family is caught off guard.
You do not have to agree with every answer on day one. You do have to know what your spouse is promising, and the weeks are written so that a partner raised outside the Church can read them without a glossary.
The Church holds the exchange of consent between the spouses to be the indispensable element that "makes the marriage." If consent is lacking there is no marriage.
What the Couples Program includes for an interfaith couple
Pastoral guidanceThe Engaged program is eight guided weeks. Each has a short reading drawn from Church documents, a video lesson, an exercise you do together and conversation cards for the topics that are awkward to open on your own. You each get a login, so a couple living in two cities can work through the same week and compare notes on a call. When you finish, the certificate lists every module you completed, so your priest sees exactly what you covered.
The plan also includes everything in Membership: the full library, the monthly live Q&A with experts and Ask with Sources, where either of you can type a question and get an answer from the Catechism with paragraph numbers. Every three months you book a private 30 minute video consultation with a Catholic therapist, a Catholic sex therapist or an NFP instructor. It costs $49 a month, or $24 a month billed yearly ($288), for both of you. There is no free plan.
Couples Program
For a couple who wants guided programs and a counselor. Two logins, one plan.
$24 /month
Billed $288 yearly, or $49 billed monthly
Choose the Couples Program- Five guided 8 week programs, including Engaged
- Completion certificate listing every module
- One private 30 minute video consultation every 3 months
- Catholic therapist, sex therapist or NFP instructor
- Ask with Sources, 300 questions a month
- Full library, courses and monthly live Q&A
Start before the first meeting with the priest
Pastoral guidanceMost parishes ask you to make contact six to twelve months before the wedding, and the permission or dispensation is requested during that time. You do not need to wait for it to begin preparing. Couples who have already talked through the children question and the wedding format walk into the first meeting calmer, and the priest can spend the hour on scheduling instead of on a surprise.
If you are still comparing formats, our guide to Catholic marriage preparation sets parish, diocesan and online options side by side, and Pre Cana classes online describes the Engaged program week by week. If you already married civilly and now want the Church wedding, see Catholic marriage prep for convalidation. When you are ready, choose the Couples Program on the pricing page and open week one together tonight.
"By reason of their state in life and of their order, [Christian spouses] have their own special gifts in the People of God." This grace proper to the sacrament of Matrimony is intended to perfect the couple's love and to strengthen their indissoluble unity.
Sources
Every source below is linked to the full text on vatican.va or usccb.org. Quotations are short and given word for word.
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CCC 1625 Doctrine
Catechism of the Catholic Church 1625 (The Sacrament of Matrimony)
The parties to a marriage are a baptized man and woman who are free to marry and who freely express their consent, not under constraint and not impeded by natural or Church law.
Read the source -
CCC 1626 Doctrine
Catechism of the Catholic Church 1626 (The Sacrament of Matrimony)
The exchange of consent between the spouses is the indispensable element that makes the marriage. If consent is lacking, there is no marriage.
Read the source -
CCC 1632 Doctrine
Catechism of the Catholic Church 1632 (The Sacrament of Matrimony)
So that the spouses' yes may be free and responsible and the marriage rest on solid foundations, preparation for marriage is of prime importance, with the example and teaching of parents and families and the help of the Church community.
Read the source -
CCC 1641 Doctrine
Catechism of the Catholic Church 1641 (The Sacrament of Matrimony)
Christian spouses receive a grace proper to the sacrament of Matrimony that perfects their love and strengthens their unity, helping them attain holiness in married life and in welcoming and educating children.
Read the source -
CCC 1652 Doctrine
Catechism of the Catholic Church 1652 (The Sacrament of Matrimony)
By its very nature marriage and married love are ordered to the procreation and education of children, which are its crowning glory. Children are the supreme gift of marriage and contribute greatly to the good of the parents.
Read the source -
CCC 1656 Doctrine
Catechism of the Catholic Church 1656 (The Sacrament of Matrimony)
Believing families are centers of living, radiant faith, and the Second Vatican Council called the family the domestic church. Parents are the first heralds of the faith for their children.
Read the source -
CCC 2362 Doctrine
Catechism of the Catholic Church 2362 (The Sixth Commandment)
The acts by which spouses are intimately and chastely united are noble and honorable, and fully human sexual union enriches the spouses in joy and gratitude. Sexuality is a source of joy and pleasure: spouses do nothing evil in seeking this pleasure and enjoyment, while keeping within the limits of just moderation.
Read the source -
AL 136 Magisterium
Pope Francis, Amoris Laetitia 136 (2016)
Dialogue is essential for experiencing, expressing and fostering love in marriage and family life, but it is the fruit of a long and demanding apprenticeship, because men and women communicate differently.
Read the source