Building a recovery plan

Most people who struggle with pornography have promised themselves, many times, that this time will be different. Resolutions made in a moment of shame rarely last, because they rely on willpower alone. A recovery plan is different. It is a set of concrete supports, written down and shared, that makes the good choice easier and the old choice harder. Chastity, the Catechism says, involves an "apprenticeship in self-mastery" (CCC 2339), and apprentices need tools.

The pillars of a good plan

Plans vary, but most effective ones include several of these elements together.

• Accountability. At least one trusted person of the same sex, other than your spouse, with whom you speak honestly and regularly. Your spouse should know the plan, but should not be made into your only monitor.
• Filters and device boundaries. Use content filters on phones, computers and home networks, and accountability software if helpful. Keep devices out of the bedroom and bathroom, and set a time each night when screens go off.
• A qualified counselor. A licensed therapist with real experience in compulsive sexual behavior can help you understand your patterns and the wounds underneath them.
• A support group. Groups such as Sexaholics Anonymous, as well as Catholic recovery programs offered through parishes and dioceses, provide community with others who understand from the inside.
• The sacraments and prayer. Regular confession, the Eucharist, and a simple daily prayer routine anchor recovery in grace and not only in technique.